Students will reflect upon what life looks like from the point of view of a person whose life is nearly over. Students will understand a specific elderly person’s point of view about life. Students will understand that they already have things they wish they could do over and that they should live so as to avoid regrets later on.
Affective
Students will empathize with an elderly person and share his or her wisdom. Students will be more thoughtful about life and what kind of life they want to lead.
Behavioral
Students will interview an elderly person about his or her opinions and experiences. Students will make a list of things they wish they had done differently in their lives so far.
Class Session 1
Mention to the class that this is a chapter that asks them to reflect on what kind of person they would like to be by asking them to imagine themselves toward the ends of their lives. Explain that you are asking them to look forward by pretending to look backward!
Note that an expert on death and dying, Elisabeth Kubler Ross, mentioned that people at the end of their lives often experience a sense of “unfinished business” that keeps them from going peacefully to their final rest. Write the words “Unfinished Business” on the board. Ask students what they think “unfinished business” is. They probably will come up with some fine answers.
Affirm accurate answers, and clarify that “unfinished business” is comprised of issues that, at the end of a person’s life, he or she regrets having done or not done; unresolved relationships that need reconciliation; guilt that needs unburdening; people who need to be communicated with in a positive way; and others. Sometimes unfinished business consists of large issues, but, more often, smaller issues bother the dying person—issues such as not having told someone often enough that they loved him or her, having gotten overly angry with one of their children when they were very young, or left-over feelings of jealousy or resentment toward a brother or sister. As the little story at the beginning of the chapter illustrates, people may regret not having given enough of themselves to helping others.
Aldous Huxley, a famous twentieth-century author, known for his rather cynical and penetrating social criticism, said that if he had one wish for the way he had lived his life, he wished, simply, that he had been a bit kinder to people.
Kubler Ross emphasized that the choices people make throughout their lives determine how peacefully they meet the end of life. Explain that, although the students are young and probably have many years of life ahead of them, they are certainly not too young to be thinking about the choices they make every day to either give or not give of themselves to others.
Write the quote that ends the chapter on the board:
Life is simple. What we give out, we get back.
Mention that a life that will etch beauty even on the oldest face and peace in dying hearts is a life that was dedicated to giving of one’s time, energy, effort, willpower, and other resources in order to benefit others. It is not too early to start thinking about what kind of people they want to be when they are older.
Make the point that, after all, when a person sets out on a journey, he or she begins with the destination or end point in mind. He or she plans the journey based on where he or she wants to finish up. The journey of life may well be planned by thinking of where a person wants his or her life to be at in its final days.
Ask students to do the Questions for Reflection in their student books.
Questions for Reflection
1. What is most important to you now in your life?
2. What do you think will be most important to you twenty years from now? Thirty
years? Forty years?
3. What do you wish to accomplish in your life?
4. What kind of personal relationships with others do you want to develop in your life?
5. Are the most important things in life material?
6. Why do you think some people experience regret at the end of their lives?
7. Do you have any regrets?
8. How do you deal with difficulties in your life?
9. What qualities do you most admire and respect in people?
10. How would you like to be remembered after you are gone?
Assign students the Exercise: “Personal Interview” as take-home work to be completed by the next class session. Let them read over the exercise in class and ask you any questions they may need to.
Exercise: “Personal Interview”
For this exercise, find an elderly person to interview. It could be one of your own grandparents, a neighbor, or just someone you meet in the park. You may add some questions of your own if you wish.
1. What has been most important to you in your life?
2. What quality in your character has helped you get through the difficult periods of your
life?
3. What qualities do you most admire and respect in people?
4. What has made your personal relationships closer? What has made them difficult?
5. What is your biggest accomplishment?
6. What was your most memorable experience? Why?
7. What do you feel you have contributed to your family, friends, community, nation
and/or the world?
8. What was your biggest struggle in life?
9. How do you want to be remembered?
10. What do you regret?
Additional Questions:
Afterwards think about what you learned personally from the interview. Is there anything the person said that struck you in particular? Anything that made you reflect on your own life? What is your personal opinion of the person you interviewed?
Class Session 2
Check students’ books to see if they did the interview with an older person as they were supposed to. Ask students for examples of the people they interviewed—were they relatives, neighbors, someone they met by chance? Was it a good experience for them? Did the person interviewed seem to enjoy it?
Divide the class into discussion groups and have them read aloud to one another their interviews, telling the others who the interviewed person was, general impressions, and anything that seemed particularly instructive or wise or thought-provoking in their encounters with the older people.
Next, explain that even at their young ages, they may have some regrets. Ask them to imagine how many regrets might accumulate over fifty, sixty, seventy or more years of living! Point out that there are huge decisions in store for them: whom to marry, what kind of work they will do for a living, what kinds of morality and belief systems they will live by, where they will live, etc. Emphasize that each of these choices will alter their lives considerably. Point out that a person would be very, very lucky to make absolutely no wrong choices in life and to have absolutely no regrets.
Ask students to do the Reflection Exercise: “Living Life Over” in their student books.
Reflection Exercise: “Living Life Over”
Make a list of all the things you have done that, if given the chance, you would do differently. Next to each item explain why you feel that way; then state exactly what you would do differently if you could. Which of the items is it already too late to do anything about (for example, deciding to drop out of the Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts three years ago)? Which ones could you still possibly correct (for example, the quarrel you had last week with your best friend)? Regarding the second group, make a concrete plan to make things better.
As a last and closing exercise to this class session and to the whole series, ask students to close their eyes and imagine the following:
Imagine that you are in the presence of the most innocent person or being that you know in the world. It should be a living thing. Maybe he or she is a baby brother or sister or neighborhood child; maybe it is a soft, fluffy kitten with round eyes; maybe it is the puppy at the park that always runs up to you in sheer joy at seeing you and exposes its belly to be rubbed. Maybe it is a vision of a tender mother attending to you with great care. Keep that image in your mind and let yourself smile and feel warmed and embraced by the loving mental images that being brings to you.
Now, imagine living in a world that feels like that—everywhere you look, there is innocence, kindness, gentleness, and care. Everyone is soft with one another; there are no harsh words or accusations; no cruelty or crime; no insulting others or judging them on their appearance or sexual appeal. It is a positive, supportive, safe world that embraces everyone as a precious human being.
Now, ask students to open their eyes. Say something along the lines of, “Please create that kind of a world inside your own heart and mind and bring it out into the world we live in. Your world right now is school, home, and neighborhood; soon it will be the world of work, the world of commerce, and the world of politics. But you can bring that heart and mind to the world and make it a better place, responding to others with an open heart of love, regard, and helpfulness.”
Lesson Plan Objectives
Cognitive
Students will reflect upon what life looks like from the point of view of a person whose life is nearly over. Students will understand a specific elderly person’s point of view about life. Students will understand that they already have things they wish they could do over and that they should live so as to avoid regrets later on.
Affective
Students will empathize with an elderly person and share his or her wisdom. Students will be more thoughtful about life and what kind of life they want to lead.
Behavioral
Students will interview an elderly person about his or her opinions and experiences. Students will make a list of things they wish they had done differently in their lives so far.
Class Session 1
Mention to the class that this is a chapter that asks them to reflect on what kind of person they would like to be by asking them to imagine themselves toward the ends of their lives. Explain that you are asking them to look forward by pretending to look backward!
Note that an expert on death and dying, Elisabeth Kubler Ross, mentioned that people at the end of their lives often experience a sense of “unfinished business” that keeps them from going peacefully to their final rest. Write the words “Unfinished Business” on the board. Ask students what they think “unfinished business” is. They probably will come up with some fine answers.
Affirm accurate answers, and clarify that “unfinished business” is comprised of issues that, at the end of a person’s life, he or she regrets having done or not done; unresolved relationships that need reconciliation; guilt that needs unburdening; people who need to be communicated with in a positive way; and others. Sometimes unfinished business consists of large issues, but, more often, smaller issues bother the dying person—issues such as not having told someone often enough that they loved him or her, having gotten overly angry with one of their children when they were very young, or left-over feelings of jealousy or resentment toward a brother or sister. As the little story at the beginning of the chapter illustrates, people may regret not having given enough of themselves to helping others.
Aldous Huxley, a famous twentieth-century author, known for his rather cynical and penetrating social criticism, said that if he had one wish for the way he had lived his life, he wished, simply, that he had been a bit kinder to people.
Kubler Ross emphasized that the choices people make throughout their lives determine how peacefully they meet the end of life. Explain that, although the students are young and probably have many years of life ahead of them, they are certainly not too young to be thinking about the choices they make every day to either give or not give of themselves to others.
Write the quote that ends the chapter on the board:
Life is simple. What we give out, we get back.
Mention that a life that will etch beauty even on the oldest face and peace in dying hearts is a life that was dedicated to giving of one’s time, energy, effort, willpower, and other resources in order to benefit others. It is not too early to start thinking about what kind of people they want to be when they are older.
Make the point that, after all, when a person sets out on a journey, he or she begins with the destination or end point in mind. He or she plans the journey based on where he or she wants to finish up. The journey of life may well be planned by thinking of where a person wants his or her life to be at in its final days.
Ask students to do the Questions for Reflection in their student books.
Questions for Reflection
1. What is most important to you now in your life?
2. What do you think will be most important to you twenty years from now? Thirty
years? Forty years?
3. What do you wish to accomplish in your life?
4. What kind of personal relationships with others do you want to develop in your life?
5. Are the most important things in life material?
6. Why do you think some people experience regret at the end of their lives?
7. Do you have any regrets?
8. How do you deal with difficulties in your life?
9. What qualities do you most admire and respect in people?
10. How would you like to be remembered after you are gone?
Assign students the Exercise: “Personal Interview” as take-home work to be completed by the next class session. Let them read over the exercise in class and ask you any questions they may need to.
Exercise: “Personal Interview”
For this exercise, find an elderly person to interview. It could be one of your own grandparents, a neighbor, or just someone you meet in the park. You may add some questions of your own if you wish.
1. What has been most important to you in your life?
2. What quality in your character has helped you get through the difficult periods of your
life?
3. What qualities do you most admire and respect in people?
4. What has made your personal relationships closer? What has made them difficult?
5. What is your biggest accomplishment?
6. What was your most memorable experience? Why?
7. What do you feel you have contributed to your family, friends, community, nation
and/or the world?
8. What was your biggest struggle in life?
9. How do you want to be remembered?
10. What do you regret?
Additional Questions:
Afterwards think about what you learned personally from the interview. Is there anything the person said that struck you in particular? Anything that made you reflect on your own life? What is your personal opinion of the person you interviewed?
Class Session 2
Check students’ books to see if they did the interview with an older person as they were supposed to. Ask students for examples of the people they interviewed—were they relatives, neighbors, someone they met by chance? Was it a good experience for them? Did the person interviewed seem to enjoy it?
Divide the class into discussion groups and have them read aloud to one another their interviews, telling the others who the interviewed person was, general impressions, and anything that seemed particularly instructive or wise or thought-provoking in their encounters with the older people.
Next, explain that even at their young ages, they may have some regrets. Ask them to imagine how many regrets might accumulate over fifty, sixty, seventy or more years of living! Point out that there are huge decisions in store for them: whom to marry, what kind of work they will do for a living, what kinds of morality and belief systems they will live by, where they will live, etc. Emphasize that each of these choices will alter their lives considerably. Point out that a person would be very, very lucky to make absolutely no wrong choices in life and to have absolutely no regrets.
Ask students to do the Reflection Exercise: “Living Life Over” in their student books.
Reflection Exercise: “Living Life Over”
Make a list of all the things you have done that, if given the chance, you would do differently. Next to each item explain why you feel that way; then state exactly what you would do differently if you could. Which of the items is it already too late to do anything about (for example, deciding to drop out of the Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts three years ago)? Which ones could you still possibly correct (for example, the quarrel you had last week with your best friend)? Regarding the second group, make a concrete plan to make things better.
As a last and closing exercise to this class session and to the whole series, ask students to close their eyes and imagine the following:
Imagine that you are in the presence of the most innocent person or being that you know in the world. It should be a living thing. Maybe he or she is a baby brother or sister or neighborhood child; maybe it is a soft, fluffy kitten with round eyes; maybe it is the puppy at the park that always runs up to you in sheer joy at seeing you and exposes its belly to be rubbed. Maybe it is a vision of a tender mother attending to you with great care. Keep that image in your mind and let yourself smile and feel warmed and embraced by the loving mental images that being brings to you.
Now, imagine living in a world that feels like that—everywhere you look, there is innocence, kindness, gentleness, and care. Everyone is soft with one another; there are no harsh words or accusations; no cruelty or crime; no insulting others or judging them on their appearance or sexual appeal. It is a positive, supportive, safe world that embraces everyone as a precious human being.
Now, ask students to open their eyes. Say something along the lines of, “Please create that kind of a world inside your own heart and mind and bring it out into the world we live in. Your world right now is school, home, and neighborhood; soon it will be the world of work, the world of commerce, and the world of politics. But you can bring that heart and mind to the world and make it a better place, responding to others with an open heart of love, regard, and helpfulness.”
Wish them well on their journeys in life.